Emotional Monsters by Martha Beck

Emotional mugging: you're going along minding your own business, and suddenly, when you least expect it, you're faced with a shocking attack on your mood or peace of mind.
Being emotionally mugged can be crippling, but because the damage is so often invisible, few of us are ever taught self-defense.
PREVENTION
Every mugger uses some version of a few basic approaches.
Knowing their strategy helps you thwart them.
Create an inner space of clean, clear self-confidence.
To cultivate such environment, you must keep 3 brave commitments:
(i) vow never to deliberately create suffering for yourself or others
(ii) always own your mistakes and do your best to correct them
(iii) forgive yourself when your best isn't good enough
Keeping these commitments create deep strength that scares off most emotional muggers.

Here are 6 types of emotional muggers and the ways to emo-respond:
1) PUPPY KICKERS
Picture: The cat is sick, your husband is away, you didn't sleep all night, and as you rush to get your 6 year old ready for school, she tries to tell you something about her imagenary coala using whispered pig Latin in which she is not remotely fluent. After 5 minutes of unintelligible babble, you hear yourself shout:"For God's sake, talk like a normal person!"
You've just emotionally mugged you own offspring.
It feels like bitch-slapping ET.
Emo-defense:
Start by recognizing that the mugging isn't about you; you just happen to be standing there, wagging your tail, when someone went temporarily insane.
Try puppyish responses, offer kindness:" You seem really stressed. Can I help?"
2) EXPLODING DOORMATS

3) DEFLATORS

4) SECRET KEEPERS

5) CANNIBALS
To be happy, each of us must create meaning and joy from the raw material of everyday life.
This is not easy, so some people become cannibals.
E.g. Eve made habit to call Selma whenever she was miserable, offloading her misery and draining Selma's joy.
Emo-defense:
Don't feed cannibals the patient, sorrowful consolation they expect. Respond with: "You're so resourceful-I know you can solve that problem"
6) DEMENTORS