JOKES

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day and I heard all the patients shouting
"13...13....13...13."
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on.
Some bastard poked me in the eye with a stick!
Then they all started shouting
"14...14...14...14....."
***
Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son.
Jack: "I want you to marry a girl of my choice"
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Jack: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case..."
Next, Jack approaches Bill Gates.
Jack: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Jack: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case..."
Finally, Jack goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Jack: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Jack: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case..."
***